Monday, March 15, 2010

Red Pee and Pretty Beaches

My attitude last week improved. The UTI rose up and bitch-slapped me for another 5 days.

Here was my magical weekend:

I went to the beach with my boyfriend. My expectations were low. I pictured a cheap motel 30 minutes from the beach, greasy seafood out of a Mom & Pop restaurant, and internal panic as I looked for a restroom while we were enjoying the miracle of the ocean. These are great things, especially if you consider the age and lack of income of my sexy host.

What was the weekend? A WONDERFUL 5th floor room in a beachfront hotel with our own balcony (low rates in March!). The view was beautiful and we had direct access to the calm, empty pre-busy season beach. We stayed next door to the superb restaurant where we ate high priced seafood and he knew exactly what to order. After dinner, we laid on a sleeping bag next to the waves. Cuddling, dreaming. Even the weather was perfect!

Icing on the cake? Um, no. No icing needed and no icing experienced. It was more like hot sauce on the cake. The damned UTI. Pain increased, sometimes resulting in chills and a shallow desire to die. On top of that, the magical bladder pain pills from Dr. "I don't give a damn" turned my pee BRIGHT red/orange. That isn't an issue unless you have a man who gives a lot of attention to your crotchal area. And every ounce of your pee now has the bright clothes-staining properties of easter egg dye. Most of my magical beach weekend was spent sitting on a toilet cringing in pain, wiping endless traces of bright orange pee, or showering to clean and re-clean my nether-regions.



Ah, romance. Nothing builds a relationship like cuddling at the beach and making your boyfriend look at the crazy colors of your pee in the toilet.

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