58 minutes left...

I am typing this post very, very slowly. There are 58 minutes left to this Monday.

Now 57.

I came into the office an hour late.
I took a long lunch.
Emailed a few people about actual work stuff.
Talked to the church secretary for about an hour.

The rest of today was spent being sleepy, hormonal, and stubbornly staying at work while not working.

Obessively checking my email? Of course. I sent the "goodbye" email last night and haven't gotten a reply from the short bald man of my past. No shock there. I put up a Craigslist ad to sell my old car. I spent hours today looking through OKCupid and emailing a few awesome looking guys.

And no emails. Damned fucking yahoo with its lack of blue numbers next to my "inbox." I think now I am just waiting for nothing because I've gotten used to waiting.

Damned hormones. I think I will get pizza for dinner. Again. I'll need to stuff myself early so that it is digested before swim. Yes, I see the contradiction between my self-loathing and self-care. A year ago, there was no self-care so I am at least improving in my 30's.


51 minutes left. I hate Mondays. I was ready for 5pm when I walked into the office at the crack of 10 this morning. Yesterday was draining and I don't really want to be a minister today.

Let me edit this post. Oh, now 48 minutes left.

Maybe I will find some wonderful tall man on OKCupid who ends up sweeping me off my feet. We could take lots of cute pictures together standing tall among the fall leaves and staring into each other's eyes. I could spend Thanksgiving with his family. In two years, we could have very tall babies in pumpkin costumes smiling at the camera. Oh, imaginary man, how I am excited about meeting you.

Okay, hormonal and needy daydreaming is done. Now I have 39 minutes left.

Damned Mondays. When I get home, I am not turning on my computer until AFTER swim class. Then I am sure that dozens of men will have emailed, a trustworthy person wants to pay cash for my car, and the bald man will have apologized for not recognizing the goddess that I am. Yup. All after swim.

35 minutes left. I should go and compared online coupons for dinner. I only have half an hour to find the best deal on a medium pizza...so tricky. What kind of pizza will I want to eat cold for breakfast and lunch tomorrow? Oh, decisions, decisions.

32 mintues left. Fucking hormonal Mondays.