Wisdom Sure Seems Itchy

Wise? People call me wise? Um, I'm dating a guy with no insurance (neither health nor car) who doesn't pay his bills and who will most likely give me herpes. I am a grown woman! With a career and a mortgage and who teaches teenagers about sexuality!

Did you know that herpes is a rest-of-your-life disease? Apparently, no amount of scientific facts can keep my brain from turning off when sex is on the line. Am I really willing to risk cold sores on my precious lady parts for 60 years because I am horny? Yes. My over-educated 31-year old self says "yes."

You see, if this weren't me...if I were talking to a girlfriend...I would tell her to grab a vibrator and wait for a man who wears deoderant on EVERY date- not just some of them.

And there it is. These decisions are so much more simple when it is not me. I wouldn't hesitate to tell you all of that annoying cliche shit: "there are sooo many more people out there" "This guy/girl is just a fish you need to throw back." "which is worse? To break up with them now and mourn what might have been or to wait and break up with them in 6 months, being left with a rearranged life and a cold sore on your vagina?" Okay, so that second one wasn't exactly cliche, but still true.

But for me? I am counting the days until I get to see the man who might smell like B.O., who has no money b/c he dropped out of school, who doesn't believe in marriage, and who presently has an active outbreak of herpes.

So they say that the 30's are the best decade of life. In the 20's we find ourselves and in our 30's we enjoy ourselves. Well, my "self" came and went. She has been replaced by a girl who knows what she wants (husband, kids, happily ever after) and who chases what she knows will burn her (hot musician with ample STD's and no future).

If wisdom is my consolation prize for not being really beautiful, I need to start a new diet and wear more makeup. The wisdom thing is not really working out for me.

Damn, that musician is hot. And funny. And kind. I can't wait for him to show up on my porch tomorrow. We can use a condom. How bad are cold sores anyway?