You dirty-minded reader! No, I am not talking about what you think.
Today I have a cold. It isn't one of those feverish, miserable, achy colds--at least not yet. I just have the stuffy-headed, sneezing, coughing, Nyquil-taking symptoms. Since it is not night, I am now on Dayquil, which makes my mind very fuzzy.
A lot is confusing to me today.
Six hours ago, I thought that my boss and secretary were lying dead on the floor of a locked office. Why, you ask? I came to work late, as is usual. As I walked into the building, a strange car drove slowly past me and an unknown hand waved from behind a low-brimmed hat. Inside, my office was locked, which I didn't do. I then found the front offices locked and empty. Strange. It is not a holiday. Even if it were, we don't take off.
I returned to my office confused. As soon as I sat down, someone knocked at my door. It was the man from behind the low-rimmed hat in the parking lot. He followed me to tell me that he just had to come in to say "hello." He'd seen me around before and something just told him to come in and say "hello." I was very beautiful and he just felt like he needed to say "hello."
This is romantic if you go back to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in a New York park. It is creepy and dangerous when it takes place in a fairly empty building and the person saying "hello" is wearing white tennis shoes, gray sweatpants, a button up shirt, and a tweed jacket. And a low-brimmed hat. Who is also missing teeth and missing that reassuring spark of humanity from behind his eyes.
He was very kind. I very kindly turned down an offer for a date. He left after telling me a couple of more times that he was drawn to me. I promptly locked my door and called the church secretary to see WHERE the hell she was.
No answer on the cell phone.
It was at this time that I felt certain that the kind man with the empty eyes and the low-brimmed hat just finished killing my co-workers. I pictured their limp bodies on the floor of my boss's office in a pool of blood where this crazy man left them, politely turning off the lights and locking the doors before walking down the hall to ask me out to coffee.
Thankfully, I had a voicemail telling me that they were going to a funeral and could I please answer the phone for the next few hours.
Cold medicine and creepy men do NOT mix well. Then again, neither of those things should really be mixed.
Oh, and it is raining outside. Hence, it is wet. And I am fuzzy.
Today I have a cold. It isn't one of those feverish, miserable, achy colds--at least not yet. I just have the stuffy-headed, sneezing, coughing, Nyquil-taking symptoms. Since it is not night, I am now on Dayquil, which makes my mind very fuzzy.
A lot is confusing to me today.
Six hours ago, I thought that my boss and secretary were lying dead on the floor of a locked office. Why, you ask? I came to work late, as is usual. As I walked into the building, a strange car drove slowly past me and an unknown hand waved from behind a low-brimmed hat. Inside, my office was locked, which I didn't do. I then found the front offices locked and empty. Strange. It is not a holiday. Even if it were, we don't take off.
I returned to my office confused. As soon as I sat down, someone knocked at my door. It was the man from behind the low-rimmed hat in the parking lot. He followed me to tell me that he just had to come in to say "hello." He'd seen me around before and something just told him to come in and say "hello." I was very beautiful and he just felt like he needed to say "hello."
This is romantic if you go back to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in a New York park. It is creepy and dangerous when it takes place in a fairly empty building and the person saying "hello" is wearing white tennis shoes, gray sweatpants, a button up shirt, and a tweed jacket. And a low-brimmed hat. Who is also missing teeth and missing that reassuring spark of humanity from behind his eyes.
He was very kind. I very kindly turned down an offer for a date. He left after telling me a couple of more times that he was drawn to me. I promptly locked my door and called the church secretary to see WHERE the hell she was.
No answer on the cell phone.
It was at this time that I felt certain that the kind man with the empty eyes and the low-brimmed hat just finished killing my co-workers. I pictured their limp bodies on the floor of my boss's office in a pool of blood where this crazy man left them, politely turning off the lights and locking the doors before walking down the hall to ask me out to coffee.
Thankfully, I had a voicemail telling me that they were going to a funeral and could I please answer the phone for the next few hours.
Cold medicine and creepy men do NOT mix well. Then again, neither of those things should really be mixed.
Oh, and it is raining outside. Hence, it is wet. And I am fuzzy.
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