how long should I stay confused?

Well, friends, the hot musician left my house this morning at 6am. I started counting the hours before he left at about 2am. That had more to do with restless sleep that you get when sharing a bed with someone new and less about the actual man.

At least I think that is why I counted the hours--it was about sleep.

That is probably why.

I think. Maybe.

So here is my question in the middle of the night: How long, at the beginning of a relationship, should you continue to be confused?

Is a month a good timeframe to start defining previously ambiguous shows of affection? Two months? My question has some to do with the big, scary DTR, but maybe more.

I'm dating a man who makes little money, has no direction in life, is unhappy with his life, and I think he's given me an STD that I can't quite pinpoint (Dr's visit in a week....don't worry, my anxious reader). Why date him, you ask? He is kind, funny, talented, attractive, easy to be around, likeable in all social groups that don't include the rednecks who frown at interracial couples in Wal-mart, and he realllllllllly turns me on. Oh, and he is very physically affectionate--in a good way, not in a "I wanna fuck" way.

After a month and a week of dating, I still don't know how he feels about me. LOVE is not the issue here. I mean, we've only been dating for 6 weeks, people! LIKE, INTEREST, and general INFATUATION are my unclear areas. Isn't that sad? I don't know if a boy really likes me? I have to have the dreaded conversation.

So far, the only solid things I've heard from the man (and by "solid," I mean things that he said while sober) are:

well, I've got the dating thing in my life squared away [gesture toward my side of the room] and with a woman who doesn't require me to spend lots of money!

I am really happy right now [said while cuddling with me]

and, finally.....

I am going to date you as long as you let me

Okay, now if you picture Tom Hanks saying this to Meg Ryan in a beautiful NYC park with a camera spinning around their embrace, those are all wonderful quotes. In a context of my kitchen, couch, and post-coital nudity...they fall short.

That is why, sometime in the next 1-3 days--however long it takes him to call me--I have to initiate the "talk." Damn it. It is needed. I really don't want to bother Nairing some very sensitive areas of my body if this man isn't really into me.

I'll keep you updated. It is 2am and I finally bored myself into sleepiness.