Say "no" to sun!

Dear 30-something friends,

Am I allowed to say something if you become one of those 40 year-olds who is too tanned, too blonde, and so fake that you are ugly?

Today I was looking through pictures of women on Facebook. There is something that happens between 37 and 40 that causes women to cling desperately to an image of their 18 year old selves.

The result? Group pictures of women that are hard to make out because the blazing white teeth stand out too harshly against the over-tanned skin and platinum blonde hair. Without dark roots, it is impossible to frame their faces at all!

I am not above that late 30's panick. I can easily see myself getting a new tattoo and going red-headed in about 8 years. Does our panick also make us blind to reality? Are these women feeding off of each other's obsessions? Do none of them have a close enough friend to tell them, "Hey, you look like an over-bleached beach whore. Try going a little more natural."???

Maybe I can answer this question in 8 years. If my panicking and aging friends end up killing me in my sleep, I'll know that intervention is simply not an option.

This is not beauty. I can almost picture them tearing off their faces to reveal the lizard living under the fake skin. (does everyone else love "V" as much as I do?) Instead of looking younger, they look like drag queens.