Big Girl Panties

Have you ever reached a point when your life is so miserable that it is humorous? I learned this from my family. You have to be able to laugh at your own misery sometimes. Here is a conversation from a phone call last week:

Me: Hey Josh (my brother)! How is everything?
Josh: Oh, you know. Everyone is gone right now. They are all at ball practice and art lessons.
Me: Nice! You have an empty house right now! I will let you go so you can enjoy the quiet.
Josh: No big deal. I am about to go on a date. [loaded pause after date]
Me: Whaaaat? Who with?
Josh: An older lady. 47
Me: Is she rich?
Josh: No, she is one of Joanna's friends. [another loaded pause because our sister, Joanna, makes horrible decisions and usually has friends who are complete trash or screwups]
Me: Oh. (pause) You know, you aren't supposed to date older people unless they are rich. Is she a blonde?
Josh: Yes! I don't know what my problem is! She has hair just like Meredith (his crazy girlfriend he dated on and off for 10 years)
Me: Dammit, Josh. You have to get over the blonde thing! Well, have a great date. I was just calling to check on my messed up sister, hurting nephews, and sick father.
Josh: (laughs a little) Yes, and the boys really are hurting. Joanna is in detox right now.
Me: Well, that is good. Where did she go?
Josh: Oh, she is in the next room.

And we laughed and laughed.

I recently realized that being a member of my family and being a woman makes me a lot stronger than most of the men in my life.  That may be sexist, but...

Since the shit hit the fan at church, the pastor and my two closest guy friends freaked out and can't handle conflict. At all. All three have bailed on me when they were all supportive about doing a lesbian wedding a week ago.  Two of them played in the band at the wedding!  We knew it was coming and they talked a good game, but they only lasted two weeks before giving up. I can't depend on the men, so here is my new mantra:

I had drinks and watched a movie with my girlfriends and gave them a little inspirational speech.  It was essentially:  Our lives suck.  The men can't handle any of this.  They are shitting themselves.  So we have to step up.  We have to put on our big girl panties because we know how to be broken and strong at the same time.

I actually bought a giant pair of panties (they fit me, unfortunately) for us to pass around as needed.  Only one of us can lose our shit at a time and that woman will hold the panties.  The rest of us have to keep wearing ours.

Why?  Because men are weak.  I can't depend on any man in North Carolina to help me hang onto my job.  It is up to the women to step up and take care of things.

We can cry, we can cuss, we can discuss things until we are blue in the face.  Real women, however, do not allow themselves to give into fear and hopelessness and shit themselves.  Not in the big girl panties.  That is what they are made for.