Things I shouldn't admit: Lawn Care

I was sore for 2 days after mowing my lawn for the first time this year.  I have a RIDING lawn mower.  I am so out of shape, it was too difficult for my muscles to sit while in motion.

Things I shouldn't admit: Work

I do so little work while in the office that spending five straight hours actually working is now exhausting to me.

Things I shouldn't admit: Blackberries

I am presently addicted to blackberries.  I will go out of my way to drive from store to store looking for them.  Somehow, I developed an emotional connection between blackberries and being happy despite unhappy circumstances.  The connection probably started while reading the book, "The Hunger Games."

Things I shouldn't admit: Dr. Who

I am an ordained minister and I found more hope and love in the television series, Dr. Who, than I have found in any church in the last year.  I understand why people who have no community create an entire belief system from the show. 

I am very aware that it is not good to develop an affinity for a man who is constantly changing, unreliable, emotionally distant, and who lies on a regular basis.  Oh, and he is a fictional character on a television show.  There is that, too.

Things I shouldn't Admit: Spring

My favorite part of spring is watching the spiders on my front porch reappear after a long, spiderless winter.  No, I am not a creepy bug-loving person.

 

Note:  While looking for this pic on Google, I got creeped out by all of the spiders.  Apparently, I only think they are cute and worthy of one-sided conversations when they live on my porch.

Things I shouldn't admit: Underwear

I accidentally discovered that most of my underwear fits better if I wear it backwards.  This is because I have no ass.  NO ass.  I also have a front-butt, which is what mean people call that pouch of fat on your lower belly below your waist.

Most of my underwear is from Aerie, which is an awesome brand.  The waist tends to fit too low on my front and the butt sags in the back (due to aforementioned lack of ass).  When I put them on backwards one day, I had perfectly fitting panties with a bit of a cheeky cut on my non-existent ass!

My panties are sexier with the tag in the front.  It is now a daily habit.

Things I shouldn't admit

I haven't had the energy to blog about the adventures of my life... like switching denominations, considering a move to BFE, wanting to run away so badly that "The Life of Pi" made me jealous, and finding a dismal amount of liberal christian men in the online dating market.  Oh, and I've spent a year being hated and plotted against by an entire community of clueless republicans.

There is not time or energy to talk about serious things, so I am beginning a new blog series called "Things I shouldn't Admit." 

To begin, I shouldn't admit that this series comes from the fact that I've started talking to myself.  A lot.  Now at least I will write down some of those deep, dark secrets witnessed only by my one-eyed dog.