Damn my college roommate. She taught me the wonders of cleaning your ears with q-tips. Before I met her that fateful day in 1997, I had no idea that I am blessed with eargasms.
(In case you didn't know, this is the sensation of awesomeness that us lucky few experience while cleaning our ears. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it is GOOD. Like scratching a magical itch)
Now I clean my ears every night, especially after showers. The byproduct of this habit is that I get the occasional outer ear infection. Apparently God made ear wax and we are supposed to leave it there for protection and q-tips can leave tiny scratches in our ears that get infected.**
Now I feel like I have little ants crawling in my ear. Did you know that is what an outer ear infection feels like? I can't bring myself to go to the doctor and wait in a room full of people who have the plague just to get little eardrops. For now, it is me and the imaginary ants.
**That was meant to be read in a sarcastic and bitter voice.
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