grow some lady parts

This is my catch phrase. I taught it to teenagers a few years ago because they kept yelling "grow some balls!" during ultimate frisbee games.

Balls? That doesn't make sense. Balls are the most sensitive, vulnerable, and wimpy part of the human anatomy. If you hit a man in the balls, he is down. If you injure a man's balls, he may lose one. You even have to watch how you TOUCH a man's balls...which is not exactly a beloved national past time (at least for me).

The vagina, on the other hand, goes through a lot of tough shit. It sees blood on a regular basis. It adapts to whatever is thrown at it. It can be ripped apart while a HUMAN passes through it and still heal to see another day. Women are forced to accept pain on a regular basis because our lady parts are rearranging themselves (also known as menstruation).

Is someone being weak? Tell them to grow some lady parts. Balls will only give them another weakness.

Tonight I wanted to tell a college student to grow some lady parts. "My parents don't understand me." Waaaaa. "I don't know where home is anymore." booohooo. "My friends don't call often enough or text back when I want them." poor thing.

These are valid life experiences and are especially jarring during college when you seem to live in transition. I know this in my head because I am a well-trained minister. Emotionally, though, I just want to tell this girl to start growing some lady parts. Apparently, I am a cold hearted bitch in my 30's. Oh well.