without fail

How can I guarantee that I'll get to walk a lot at work? Wear heels! This is one of those rare days that I lived on the wild side. I wore 2 1/2 inch heels with my jeans.

High heels, or even low heels, are a rare thing for me because I am 6 ft tall. I never adjusted to wearing them daily like many of my pretty little short friends. Because of this, I have about a 2 hour limit in the most comfortable of heels. If I am sitting at my desk all day, I'm good. I can look sexy walking to the bathroom and back without paying the price of bleeding feet at 5pm.

Of course, that isn't how my world works. I take a chance on fashion and pay the price. Every time. It is no wonder that I wear boots, flip-flops, or converse 362 days of the year!

Today I arrived to work in a very cute outfit: black heels, bootcut jeans, and a black and white striped dress/shirt combo. I planned to just leave my office for one event. We walked over to a lecture 3 blocks away on a university campus. No problem! I am a beast! I stood for 30 minutes talking to people at said lecture. 6ft 3inches of sexy in still comfortable shoes! We go to lunch and park 3 blocks away from the restaurant. Okay. A little far. I'm still good. I enjoy seeing my profile in shop windows...I look like other women look every day.

Back at the office, the phone rings. The janitor's wife has an urgent message. Where is he? I walk from one end of the church to another. And again. And then back to another building. And then back to the front office to write a note for his car. Oh, wait, that isn't his car in the parking lot. Walk BACK to the office to leave the note.

Yup. I've walked a mile in my shoes. No more sexy, confident 32 year-old. It is only 3:30 and I am now barefoot and blistered. Tomorrow I'm returning to flip-flops.


p.s. There is a big difference between www.bigdaddy.com and www.godaddy.com. The former is definately not the place to go for church website work.

bugs in my ear

Damn my college roommate. She taught me the wonders of cleaning your ears with q-tips. Before I met her that fateful day in 1997, I had no idea that I am blessed with eargasms.

(In case you didn't know, this is the sensation of awesomeness that us lucky few experience while cleaning our ears. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it is GOOD. Like scratching a magical itch)

Now I clean my ears every night, especially after showers. The byproduct of this habit is that I get the occasional outer ear infection. Apparently God made ear wax and we are supposed to leave it there for protection and q-tips can leave tiny scratches in our ears that get infected.**

Now I feel like I have little ants crawling in my ear. Did you know that is what an outer ear infection feels like? I can't bring myself to go to the doctor and wait in a room full of people who have the plague just to get little eardrops. For now, it is me and the imaginary ants.

**That was meant to be read in a sarcastic and bitter voice.